NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
