so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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