Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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