Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
