we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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