The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
pop tarts are not kleenex
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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