yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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