i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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