I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
