bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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