He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
