And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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