just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
