I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
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Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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