I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
