Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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