I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
