i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
