I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
