He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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