I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
