Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
