ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize