Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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