I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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