i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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