Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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