so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
