I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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