I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize