The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
