great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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