Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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