She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
