dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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