I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing