I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
