i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize