Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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