Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Randomize
