Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
