i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
