Kiss
Puke
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
