is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
