If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
