That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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