im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
