Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
