I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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