i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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