Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think my fart just growled at me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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