i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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