You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize