My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
