that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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