Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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