My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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