i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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