successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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