Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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