He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
