There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
