We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
